16 Things Every Girl Should Do When She Gets Dumped
There are certain rules when it comes to getting dumped. It is vital that these are done in order to prove that you are a real woman, going through real woman pains.
1. Cry in a foetal position.
2. Cry in a non-foetal position.
3. Cry into an item of his clothing while breathing in his lingering smell.
4. Phone him and tell him you are crying.
5. Eat giant spoonfuls of ice cream whilst wearing your hair in a messy bun.
6. Totally change who you are.
7. And what you look like.
8. Get a new job.
9. Move to a new area.
10. Get a law degree at Harvard.
11. Go to your gay best friend/outspoken bff to cry some more.
12. Burn everything he ever gave you.
13. Burn everything you ever wore when you were with him.
14. Burn his house.
15. Get a rebound and regret it the next morning.
16. Buy some new clothes.
Because girls love clothes and shopping makes everything better.
Or, you know, just carry on being the boss bitch that you were before him, during him and ever since you realised what a massive prick* he really is.
*not actually a massive prick, pretty fucking average tbh
*just like his personality
*and his calfs