13 of the most hilarious ways to escape a date

Are you Melania Trump? Are you constantly needing to escape from a date? Are you ok, hun?

If you've been set up on one too many disappointing blind dates by your loud friend Jane, if you are endlessly giving out your number to bearded men on Oxford Street just out of politeness, if you are fed up with fuckboys - then you need to read this. This is a comprehensive guide straight from the mouthpiece of reason itself, the internet, on how to escape a date.

And if you'd rather know what your date's like without wasting time and money on a shit one, video chat them first on badoo.

 

1. When your battle scarred milk bags are feeling tender

 

2. When you'll have the caesar salad-ell-ee-eeeee

 

3. when being yourself seems to work

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4. when you're Not sure what this means but it sounds delicious

 

5. when you re-read your badoo matches and say it's because 'you have forgotten which one they are'

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6. when you done

 

7. when you get into a loud argument with the voice in your head

 

8. When you reveal your true 7 faces

 

9. when you Tell them about your pussy 

 

10. when your Pussy always works

 

11. when No matter what he's talking about, you bring the conversation back to your cat.

"I love to travel."
"My cat's an explorer."

 

12. when you then proceed to ignore any questions about it

 

13. when you just give the fuck up

 

There you go guys - because you should never ever have to stay on a date you're not into. In fact, you never have to go on one in the first place because on badoo you can video chat before you date. That way you can make sure they look great, sound great and the only thing left to check is if they smell great 🐽

 

If you fancy giving video dating a go then download badoo now.