How To Brave This Winter Being Single
We are sure that the idea of braving winter, completely alone, plagues the millennial woman’s mind daily. In fact, it’s probably all they think about, in between washing up and making someone a sandwich *insert more 1950’s stereotypes here*.
No, in all seriousness, we don’t think they would give a fuck if they were single or not because they are too busy shattering glass ceilings and bossing the shit out of life. Yaaasss kweeenz, however, if you’re a millennial sista and have found yourself at a loose end, as all your mates had a more successful 'cuffing season' than you, here are a few pointers to make those nights a little cosier and that spare time a little more productive.
1. Get a vibrator. Ann Summers. Sorted.
2. Get a hot water bottle. Reduces heating bills - big up.
3. Stop giving a fuck!
- Go to the cinema on your own
- Go to that restaurant you want to try
- Get that extra side that sounds intriguing
4. Celebrate all the time you have that is not spent worrying about someone else and focus on you.
5. Go to the gym, try the intimidating Powerplate that you always see those incredibly peachy women on. No one knows what they're actually doing at the gym, even the meat heads. No one is staring at you either. You’re good.
6. Swap that head turner for a page turner and read a fucking good book. Due to the rise of Amazon (snore), bookshops are putting on a lot more events to entice customers - look them up and roam free you lil' bookworm!
7. Spend time with friends you haven't seen in ages - might be worth reconnecting but also might not be worth the bus fare, so think through whether you actually miss them or are just bored.
8. Get really good at something. Whether it’s knitting or rock climbing, it’s fun to see self improvement and rewarding.
9. Having interests is really important for your sanity and also for small talk. For example, when your happily coupled-up friends invite you to the pub and, shock horror, they also invited their friend of a friend who is single and just ‘happened’ to be in the area. You can nail all those bog-standard questions with cool stories about yourself. Imagine - you will never have an awkward silence ever again.
When you eventually find that all important significant other, DO NOT turn into a social pariah. No one likes Hermione Hermit. Continue doing all those fun things you were doing before, continue on your journey of personal growth - because at the end of it all, you’ll be far stronger and better at compartmentalising if it all goes to shit.
And if you do fancy finding someone - we'd suggest Badoo, cause you can match interests and find people who are near you so you don't need to waste time in a long distance 'thing' with taxidermy-enthusiast Derek.