11 Things You’ll Only Know If You Have Experienced Dating In A Small Town

No city dweller will know the pain of dating in a small town. From the saturated, incest riddled dating pool, to the fact that any amorous encounter will be common knowledge of every inhabitant of your town before you have even finished your walk of shame home, the experience is fundamentally horrifying. Yet to have heard of Badoo, and it's location specific search feature, here is an accurate representation of my dating life in my small home town... 

1. It will take years to find someone eligible to date.

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2. Eventually situational hotness* will kick in, and you’ll settle for a date with a guy you are mildly attracted to.

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*When, due to an insufficient amount of eligible sexual partners , a person starts to find otherwise undesirable people attractive.  

3. The buses don’t run past 11, meaning you'll have to drive and face a first date sober.

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4. Or worse, get your Dad to drop you off

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5. You will end up going to the one half decent bar your town possesses.

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6. Where you will inevitably bump into your ex.

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7. You’ll know half of his friendship group.

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8. Many of which you have shared DNA with.

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9. The walk of shame is essentially an exercise in agility and stealth, in order to avoid casual acquaintances; old teachers, friends' parents, the local vicar etc... 

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10. And whilst you are likely to bump into that cute guy you had great chat with on the train...

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11. ...They will most likely be related to you in some distant way

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But it's not all bad. At least no-one will ever ghost you because they physically are unable to. 

Abbie McMahon