15 Signs He's Not That Into You
Ah, someone who's not that into you - aka the drifter. Ever so slightly worse than the fuckboy due to your inability to actually blame them for anything because all they do is, well, 'drift'. Where are you going? Will you ever have a date? Does he even like you? You will never know the answers to such questions, but for some reason you stay drifting with your drifter for long, unimpactful lengths of time. Here's how to tell whether you yourself are going out with someone who's just not that into you (so you can get the fuck out).
1. He never goes down on you. (Because you aren't 'serious' enough for anything like that...but somehow you end up doing him the courtesy every time you hook up.)
2. All your friends repeatedly tell you to dump him. (Because whenever he bumps into them on his way out of yours he refers to you as his 'mate'.)
3. You start thinking that dates aren't a thing now it's 2018. (Because he never suggests one.)
4. You have more communication with your latest match on Badoo than with him. (And that's only them sending you a virtual gift...which probably costs them more $ than your drifter has ever spent on you.)
5. You always go Dutch. Which is totally fine but c'mon, the Mccies you share when you meet en route home from your separate nights out?
6. And never hold hands in public.
7. You finally pluck up the courage to leave him and face the prospect of another Valentine's Day going to the cinema with your best friend.
8. But then remember that you can't actually 'leave' him because you aren't technically going out.
9. So you try to ignore him instead.
10. Only to inevitably ask him the dreaded question: 'What are we?' when you're drunk and regret everything as soon as he replies: 'We're just having a good time.'
11. You end up not having a good time.
12. But then that guy from Badoo suggests a date at a bar that's a trek for him but he knows is easy for you.
13. And he's already bought you a drink when you arrive.
14. And gets more rounds than you do.
15. And it's only when you get home that you realise your drifter has left 5 drunk voice notes asking to see you post-Infernos.
But you don't even want to reply.
Yusss girl. We've all been there where you think someone's literally in love with you and then they proceed to ghost you for the foreseeable future. Fuck that. Don't waste your time or emotion and get on Badoo instead - where people want to date, not drift.
Feature Image: Flower Films/He's just not that into you