how to deal with an awkward boner according to the internet

She's hot, you're hot, it's all very hot. But you know what's not hot? An awkward boner. This is the advice the internet gives to deal with one 🐢🐢🐢

1. take a few deep breaths...

...but not so fast that it looks like panting.

2 . think about a chair or a pen...

...unless you find chairs or pens attractive.

3. Politely Ask your d*** to calm down

4. Promise your d***, if it calms down now, you will handshake with him as soon as you can

5. put ice in your lap

This restricts blood flow and helps the sitch, but might also look weirder than an awkward boner. 

6. go to the toilet...

...for a 'handshake'. 

7.btw this is apparently what it feels like

"Think of a hard stick attached to your body that can't move on its own that you can feel, Now imagine it running against you and starting to hurt if it pushes to much against your pants or if it has to much pressure on it." Lol.

8. the classic pillow trick

9. go for a walk

10. pinch your leg

11. do 'the tuck' 

12. "If it lasts more than 4 hours without pills or anything, you should see a doctor right away."

13. take a warm shower

A "cold shower" is the common advice for a horned-up teenager, but cold temperatures can actually promote sperm production, while hot temperatures can actually make you less fertile for the time being. 

14. go back in time and wear precautionary larger-sized pants

15. don't do this...

16. Pray the above steps work

You're welcome.

 

Feature Image: Pinterest