22 failsafe ways to get out of a date guilt-free 😇

We all love dating. No, really, we do. The dating part is great - you reapply 5 layers of mascara after work, spritz yourself with some CK, down a glass of 🍷 with your friends before meeting up with someone totally new and different and exciting and probably a bit shorter than he looked in his pics. It's true what Bill Nye said, 'Everyone you ever meet knows something you don't' 💖

(Even if a lot of what they know is about the 'absolutely classic' night they had the previous evening which means they are now totally hanging. Or about how much 💰 they plan on making that year. Or the upkeep of their beard. *Sigh*)

Sometimes, you're just not feeling it. They might be slightly too keen, too built or use one too many emoji (JK you can never use too many). Whatever the reason, here's a few ways to get out of a date guilt-free... 🤥

 

1. I've been arrested 

Can't argue with that.

 

2. I've got cystitis 

No one wants to argue with that.

 

3. I've had a family emergency

'My cat got stuck in a bowl.'

 

4. I'm on my period

If they buy this one, they're not worth your time anyway.

 

5. I'm broke

They may offer to pay for you, however, which could ruin your plan. But, then again, free food 😋 

 

6. I'm sick but in a cute way

Just something cute like verbal diarrhoea.

 

7. I have a laser hair removal appointment

 

8. I've been asked to go on Love Island

If they don't believe you then f*ck 'em. They just haven't seen you tanned 🖕

 

9. My psychic advised against it

 

10. I have to go support my sister on Jeremy Kyle

The only guy you don't want to see going down on one knee...

 

11. I found a spider near my front door and now i can't leave the house

This has actually happened, though. 

 

12. I am almost at the end of a particularly tricky Sudoku 

 

13. I am still waiting to receive my letter from hogwarts 

One day. One day.

 

14. I have no clothes to wear 

I literally tried on all my clothes and nothing looks good, the outfit I planned doesn't fit properly, and I am leaning against my cupboard crying like the emotional wreck that I am. 

 

15. I need to catch up on 6 seasons of Game of Thrones

 

16. I plucked my eyebrows too thin

 

17. It was leg day yesterday and now I can't walk

 

18. I am having an existential crisis 

AKA it's Monday/I'm hungover/My boobs hurt

 

19. I have to study for a blood test

Let us all study to be like Ja'mie. 

 

20. I'm playing it cool

 

21. My pet Furby died

'Died'

 

22. I'm seeing how long I can grow out my leg hair

 

Congratulations! You are now ready and prepped for postponing that date for when you feel fresh to death rather than just... death. You are welcome 💖💖💖

 

 

Feature Image: Mean Girls/Paramount Pictures