7 Things To Do If A Friend Hooks Up With Your Ex
Whilst there is no official data on how often this occurs, you will probably know someone it’s happened to or been a victim yourself. One month a pal is making sympathetic eyes across the table, the next they are in bed with your ex. It's tough situation to swallow. So here's seven things to do in void of offering your congratulations.
1. Unwind with an arts and crafts session. Spend this depicting the pair as snakes in dubious scenarios (snakes in the sewer, snakes with satan etc.)
2. Send your ex a glitter bomb and his new squeeze a sack of soil. Together, they can make a sparkly veg patch — which could turn out to be poisonous.
3. Act cool around them and drink up the praise for how mature you are being. Hide e-receipts for glitter bomb and soil bag.
4. Frequently drop the phrase “sloppy seconds” in social situations — like your pal’s inherited nothing more than a watery bowl of spaghetti.
5. Organise a weekend away and do not invite the new couple. They have committed a social sin and you’re serving red hot FOMO as punishment.
6. Find a rebound on Badoo. Take him to your ex’s favourite restaurant for a fantastic photo opportunity. Bad luck if they are dining there too.
7. Delete your Facebook and move abroad. Why confront your feelings when you can start a new and approved life in Burma?
8. Probably don’t do any of this.
Whilst it is never pleasant, it is rare for a friend to date an ex out of spite. They probably like them for the same reasons you once did. So hear them out before labelling them a super villain. However if they are unrepentant, get on with a bit of snake scribbling. Or at least let that guy from Badoo take you out.