5 DISASTROUS Ways I Have Spent Valentine's Day

If you visited the Romans on the 14th Feb, you’d find the men drunk and naked; picking women’s names out of a hat. They’d be celebrating the feast of Lupercalia, whereby women were “sampled”, then married off — if deemed wife-able by their selector.

Whilst we've come a long way from V day as a misogynistic sex lottery. I'm still not quite on board with the occasion. Take a look at my top five (disastrous) attempts to nail the most romantic day of the year.

canary Wharf

Let me set the scene. Two teenagers, in matching navy gilets, skating in the shadow of HSBC. This was how I spent (fifteen minutes) of my first ever Valentines Day. The rest was spent travelling there (two hours — there and back) or looking for the ice rink in question.


Now at university, my new boyfriend and I have booked a sophisticated dinner at Jamies Italian. A hefty set menu (risotto balls, bolognese and soufflé) lands us both with chronic indigestion. Get a taxi back to his to have a nap to sleep it off — don’t wake up until the following morning. 

swindon prezzo

In a shock development, BF and I break up a week before Valentines Day. Gone is the hope of a mini-break to Budapest. I decide to get away and go to my aunt's sixtieth; popping into Prezzo on the way. The restaurant is full of couples, hearts and balloons. I must battle through these to get to the toilet and later weep into my "Queen Margherita".

the great ascent

Now on my semester abroad, I meet a new guy on Badoo. He takes me on a bike ride to his favourite beach town and we have pasta and wine down by the water. It's all going well until the last bus pulls away. The only route back is up 2km hill, we barely make it half way before having our first argument.  

History repeats itself

Back in England and doing long distance, my boyfriend suggests a Valentine's trip to Budapest. I think nothing of it — what could go wrong? I've always wanted to visit! We break up two weeks later. On the 14th, I end up at the pub with friends. I also spill red wine on a white dog — it remains one of the best V days I’ve ever had. 


So, lets all be more blasé about Valentines Day. Hit the pub, stain a dog, go on a date?! My parents went out for the first time on Valentines Day and they are still together 35 years later. Reclaim the 14th of Feb — it’s a day like any other — I for one am done with treating it any differently.