The Basic Girl's Guide To Drinking Coffee
Every basic girl knows that there is more to being a basic girl than just wearing activewear, having a separate Instagram account for your brunch spots and describing yourself to people you meet as a 'Samantha'. Whatever could it be, you ask? Coffee. Perhaps the most epitomising drink of the #basic culture, the love of coffee competes only with the love of low calorie vodka lime sodas. Here's the definitive guide to drinking coffee BB* style:
*Not sure if you're a basic betch? Girl, you're reading Srsly.
1. A 'Skinny Capp' is your go-to coffee of choice.
2. You change your coffee order to coincide with the seasons.
3. You take every first Badoo date to Starbucks.
Or 'Starbs' as it is more commonly known. Let's be honest, every basic betch is on Badoo these days. And if she's not, it's bc her coffee date went brew-tifully 😉
4. You have a different coffee on weekdays...
An almond milk flat white, because on weekdays you don't do dairy.
5. And a different coffee on weekends...
A normal-milk cappuccino because weekends are your time to indulge (by normal milk we of course mean 'skinny').
6. And then another different coffee with brunch...
Brunch is a leisurely affair that deserves a large latte.
7. You travel far and wide to cafes that do exotic lattes...
Pink lattes, Green lattes, Art lattes, Heart lattes.
8. You have to try any café with an 'Artisan Coffee' sign outside...
Even though you don't really know what artisan means.
9. You have 'must drink coffee'/'coffee person'/'tea drinkers omg no' on your Badoo bio...
Because otherwise how will they help you expand your collection of posts of you amongst coffee.
10. You get slightly turned on when baristas do cute patterns on your coffee.
11. You refer to coffee as 'life'.
12. You buy coffee mugs from Anthropology...
And hate to use any other form of mug.
13. You have more than one form of coffee paraphernalia.
14. You use coffee puns a lot as Instagram captions...
Hmm, how should I espresso myself this morning?
15. You have a Pinterest board dedicated to just pictures of coffee.
16. You tell people not to talk to you before you've had your coffee.
17. You say sorry for all the things you said before you had coffee.
18. You have a scented candle that is coffee flavoured.
19. You have a Nespresso machine...
And know all the flavours off by heart.
20. Coffee is a big part of your life.
21. You don't do drugs, you just do coffee.
Need an excuse to get coffee this weekend? Head to Badoo and find a coffee mate for a coffee date. Not that anyone EVER needs an excuse to get coffee. Love to all the basic betches out there.
Keep smiling and keep spinning.