The 42 Stressful AF Stages Of Waiting To Be Texted Back
These days it's all 'being relaxed' and 'keeping it chill'. But when people don't reply to a message it can somehow awaken a strange being inside you that takes over your mind, body and soul and suddenly makes you consider sending a passive aggressive question mark. And you're really not that sort of person. Promise. Here's a look at the very, very emotional stages of waiting to be texted back...
1. Totally nailed that message.
2. Must remember to delete those drafts off my notes.
3. *Re-reads sent message* God I'm good.
4. I wonder if he's reading it right now.
5. Bet he's loving the bit about my bad driving lesson.
6. Maybe i'll ask him for a drink today.
7. God he's sooo bad with his phone.
8. I'll just pop to the kitchen for a bit.
9. You stay here phone... Face down. On the bed.
10. *Makes tea* I bet he's replied. I can't wait to see what he said.
12. Well, there has to be reasonable explanation.
13. I bet he isn't near his phone.
14. *Opens Badoo*
15. Oh my god, he was just online.
16. Why did I check that?!
17. What the hell? Why is he ignoring me?
18. Oh my god my message made me sounds like a FREAK.
19. I should've run it by someone.
20. It's an essay! Why did I send him an essay?!
21. And that X!
22. *Googles how to delete message from someone's Badoo inbox*
23. WHY IS THAT NOT POSSIBLE?
24. Ok, no relax. Maybe he's at a family lunch or the gym. Or a funeral!
25. But why would he be on Badoo at a funeral..?
26. Or maybe he's too nervous to reply because my message was so good!
27. Maybe he can't handle the heat.
28. NO! It was awful. He's probably on the phone to his friends telling them how lame I am.
29. How am I going to live with this embarrassment?
30. I really liked him.
31. Why do I always do this?
32. *Phone beeps*
33. OH MY GOD.
34. Ugh, Dominoes.
35. Maybe I should get a pizza. I am feeling pretty sad.
36. No but then you'll get fat. You can't be single and fat.
37. Wait, fuck that! I can be as fat and single as I want.
38. How dare he make me feel this way!
39. I hope he doesn't reply. I'm done.
40. Phone beeps again.
41. FUCK ITS HIM!!!!!!
42. *Instantly forgets the pain and strife of the past 40 minutes*