The 8 Stages You Have Definitely Gone Through During A Break Up
Ever felt a bit erratic after a break up? Like one moment you're booking a yoga class, the next you're sobbing into your pillow? Well, your brain is in crisis mode. The sun went down one day and never came back up. Your life as you know it no longer exists and out of this comes seven, unique coping mechanisms. Get ready to meet to the eight phases we all go through after being broken up with.
1. The Party State
Party-You loves getting on it. Tequila is her tipple and YAAS is her middle name. Commonly found on girls-nights in one of the sexy 'going out' tops you bought during a sadness fuelled online shopping rampage. She genuinely believe troubles can be danced away.
2. The Sad State
Sad-You has greasy hair and is opposed to all forms of human interaction. Most comfortable in an air tight room, she only watches re-runs and exclusively eats beige coloured food. The only D she gets is Deliveroo.
3. The Nostalgic State
Nostalgic-You looks hot in her rose tinted glasses, but wow do they mess with your memories. Fave pastimes include: flicking through photos, flicking through more photos, staring into space, making 'memories' vids and wishing her life away.
4. The Dating App State
The Dating App-You is on it like a car bonnet. She spends toilet trips swiping on Badoo and loves chatting to loads of guys at once. Has been known to go on a date to Flat Iron and come back to work slightly smashed. Rates Badoo's lookalikes feature as it means she can find people who look (a little bit) like your ex.
5. The Angry state
Angry-You has a short fuse and is super into smear campaigns. A strong believer in revenge over reconciliation; she’s quick to cause a scene or send a snidey text message.
6. The RatioNal state
Rational-You is a together kind of gal. She’s mindful AF and thinks the break up was “for the best”. Often seen trying new things such as meditation, buying a lots of active-wear or making detailed pros and cons lists about how they had chubby ankles anyway.
7. The Reckless state
Reckless-You is the evil twin of Party-You. Commonly found drinking to oblivion and the last one at the after party. She loves strangers' sofas and once wished a red wine bottle good night.
8. The Amorous state
Amorous-You loves sex. Sure, she became complacent during the relationship, but now she’s not getting it — she’s not happy. Often found flirting outrageously on Badoo or fancying average-looking people on public transport.
You know what? There's no ideal or correct way to deal with a breakup. So put your make up on, or don't, have a cry, or punch punch bag, get back into bed, get out of bed, down some wine, or gin and hit the club (or coffee shop). BE A HOT MESS. Just remember that, deep down, Logical-You has got the right idea; if they dumped you, the breaks up's 100% for the best. Move on with your life, embrace your Amorous side because why TF not when there's plenty of Badoo hotties waiting to distract you.