Why Do People See One Night Stands As Wrong?

Heading to work on the Victoria Line with my housemate, she lowers her voice as she tells me about the guy she met up with last night who ended up staying over at our place (as if I hadn’t heard already - the walls are thin).

 

‘It was so good,’ she whispers discreetly.

 

I sigh inwardly. First of all, the entire silent Tube carriage who aren't wearing bluetooth headphones definitely heard that, and secondly - why keep quiet? What is so wrong with saying loudly and with the confidence of Samantha of Sex and the City season 1:

‘I slept with someone last night who I met 3 hours before. I enjoyed every orgasmic moment, even the awkward condom-application bit and the fact it was probably 10 times better because of the 4+ wines I’d had beforehand, and I have absolutely no intention of ever seeing them again.’

OK. Maybe that’s a bit much for 8am and the older woman in the Hobbs jacket heading to work... But are people really still ashamed of one night stands? Are we still unable to talk freely in public about our exciting endeavours?

Admittedly, one night stands do have their awks moments and are possibly occasionally done for the wrong reasons (eg. when you use them to get over an ex and you end up putting way too much emotion in and telling the person you love them and crying a bit and it just gets weird...) but most of the time you find them fabulous. Until then you hear things like this, that is...

 

“I’m just not that sort of girl”

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*Sigh* The world is not actually split up into Charlottes, Samanthas, Carries and Mirandas, you know? Life is not a buzzfeed quiz. You can be two of them, three, all four if you like. You don’t need to pigeonhole yourself into being one type of girl - whether that’s in your work life, social life or sex life. Just do you and do whatever (or whoever) you fancy.

 

“She’s not gf material, she’s slept with too many guys”

Argh. For all the people who have heard something that sounds like this in their time, here’s a quick round up of 5 reasons NOT to see one night stands as wrong:

1. They can make you feel confident again

The post-sex glow up is an actual scientific thing.

 

2. They can give you really great stories*

*See Sex and the City seasons 1-6.

 

3. They can be pretty darn fun

You can say and do whatever you fancy during a one night stand with absolutely no holes barred.

 

4. They can sometimes lead to something more

Ironically, a large percentage of my relationships have started with one night stands. This is probably not the best way to aim for an LTR but connections are just as important physically as mentally and emotionally, so it’s not really a surprise.

 

5. In the end, just do whatever the hell you want

In the words of the amazingness that is RuPaul, “Through my observations, it became clear that most of society’s rules and customs are rooted in fear and superstition!”

 

So why bloody follow them?