36 Unfortunate Things You'll Go Through If You Burn Easily And It's Sunny
There are two types of people in this world. Those that thrive in the summer months, have a perfectly bronzed tan as soon as they step into the sun and don't even know that factor 50 exists - and those that don't. Those other people. The sensitive, frail, scared-looking folk who cower beneath the faintest rays and burn even through the clouds. If you are reading this article you are probably one of them, and these are probably 36 things you'll go through when it's sunny...
1. You wake up and gasp - what a beautiful day it is! Hoorah!
2. Then the memories of last summer suddenly flash before you, crushing your joy.
3. But you tell yourself this time it will be different. This time you won't burn.
4. So you decide to walk to work on such a glorious day! Like a normal person!
5. You scour your room for your hat.
6. But can't find it anywhere.
7. Ffs, how has this happened?!
8. It was bloody snowing yesterday.
9. You consider whether it would be socially acceptable to use an umbrella for shade...
10. Maybe you can just brave it without a hat?
11. You'll be fine if you just keep walking in the shade.
12. Fuck, there's no fucking shade.
13. You hope people on the street don't notice as you use them like human shields from the sun.
14. You ignore the strange looks you get as you hug building walls to keep to the small strips of shade there.
15. The shade only covers you slightly but at least you can save your calves.
16. You immediately regret your 'summery' outfit choice.
17. Your mind races as you think about all the different exposed areas of skin your daredevil outfit has created.
18. In horror you realise your collarbones are out.
19. You immediately feel your collarbones burning.
20. But you must continue, if you turn back now you'll be late to work.
21. You begin to sweat under the pressure of staying in the shade and also due to the intense heat of the sun.
22. You feel your clothes cling to your skin.
23. Your backpack sticks to your back and you wonder if the moisture might harm your laptop.
24. You are sweating everywhere.
25. Literally, everywhere.
26. You jump from tree-shade to pedestrian-shade to the shade from the tent things on the front of shops.
27. What are those things? Do they have a name?
28. You finally see work just a few metres away.
29. Omg you have made it burn free!
30. You magical sun dodger!
31. You shade whisperer, you!
32. But then you suddenly bump into a colleague from walk.
33. And you are forced to slow your pace down as they immediately start talking to you about how hot it is.
34. You are too polite to tell them to get out of your fucking shade.
35. You get to work and immediately go to the toilet to wipe your sweaty underarms with loo roll.
36. Oh fuck.